Am I Part of the Cure?
by MegDallen
Summary: It s been over year and half since Sam and Dean split up. Sam s living his own life now. This story is a little piece of it. Sam/OFC


Sam/OFC, M, slightly AU taking place somewhere after Free to Be You and Me

thanx to Lainey for beta!

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They move into the new place on October 25.

It´s just a little house in the suburbs, with flaking wallpaper in the corners of the living room and a very tiny bedroom with a wooden wardrobe, already almost eaten by deathwatches. Anyway it´s all theirs, better than Ema´s dormitory room, shared with the emotionally labile roommate, and the crappy places Sam had to rent for himself. Ema is excited, checking every room and corner, writing down a list of things to do and to buy. Meanwhile, Sam is trying to bring all the boxes from the van inside as quickly as possible, because the evening classes start in two hours.

"We have to put the lamp here, it´ll fit here just perfect!" Ema squeals and almost jumps and Sam´s wiping off the sweat on his forehead, putting down an extra heavy box with a huff that catches Ema´s attention.

"Sorry," she murmurs, coming to him and kissing his lips lightly. She´s tall. Even taller than Jess was and Sam didn´t know a girl who was this tall without looking weird before. She has got watery blue eyes and she can do the best puppy dog eyes ever.

"I´m glad you like it here," Sam kisses the top of her head, the familiar scent of her shampoo hitting his nose for a second.

It´s been over year and half since Sam and Dean split up. It took awhile before Sam adjusted to a life without hunting and without Dean. Although he reads the newspaper every day, calling Bobby when he finds something strange. When he started dating Ema, he even quit the occasional safe local private hunts. The main task was keeping Ema safe, just as Dean used to keep him safe.

---

The proposal comes when Ema finds that birdie on the pavement, near their house. She lays it in the box from her Nike sneakers and puts in a bit of cereal roll.

"Marry me, Ema," Sam says, holding the small box in his hand tightly. And she looks up from the unmoving bird, taking Sam´s head in her hands, palms on his cheeks, cradling it lovingly.

"You don´t have to marry me because you´re afraid that I´ll leave you," she says, remembering what he told her about his life, the speech hesitant and leaving a lot of unspoken.

And he is sure, in that moment, that she´s looking straight into his soul. Ema smiles, something bittersweet in it, and kisses his forehead.

When they are making a love in the shower that night, Sam gets all desperate. He´s holding Ema against the wall, so he can enter her more easily, clutching her hip and thigh, bruising her slender neck and then her collar bones with little but sharp bites, as the hot water´s hitting his shoulders and back. He´s rough with her, but Ema doesn´t mind. She knows how much he just needs it and she´s giving back as much as she´s receiving- sinking her sharp nails into his firm back muscles and thrusting against him with a verve.

"I´m not leaving you." The words are weak because a shiver runs down her spine as the cold tiles are pressing against her back, Sam´s large form blocking the warm stream of water.

"I won´t leave you," she says louder, seeking his eyes. Sam says nothing, only kisses away her "I´m yours" and there´s another shiver running though her body when she comes.

---

It´s been raining the whole week, the sky outside gray when Sam´s looking out of the kitchen's window. Ema should have been back from work 40 minutes ago and he´s worried now. He´s always worried because he knows what is in the dark. Sam doesn´t like to have a fear for Ema. It reminds him of those days when he was sitting in a motel, waiting for Dean and Dad until they come back from a hunt. He hated that. The fear squeezing its hand around Sam´s stomach, making him sick, his fantasy already working with pictures of Dean or dad in bloody clothes and deep wounds in their torsos.

Sam has to do his best to stay as calm as possible when he realizes that Ema´s cell phone is turned off. The green wall clock from Crate & Barrel is showing exactly 8:00 PM. Ema´s been late for one and half hours now and she´s the most punctual person Sam has ever

known.

The door opens when Sam reaches for his gun laying hidden under the clothes in his drawer.

He immediately crosses the rooms to find Ema, standing there, looking miserable.

"Oh my God! I was – I was so scared," Sam exhales and he can finally fill his lungs with enough air.

"I´m so sorry," Ema says quietly, walking towards the chair and sitting down. "I missed my bus so I took another one, because I didn´t want to wait so long for the next one. But then it went totally different way and I was so confused, didn´t know where I was. And my cell just went off so I couldn´t call you," she spills out in one breath.

Sam kneels next to the chair, taking her cold hands in his, then kissing the knuckles. "I´m glad you´re ok..."

"These heels are killing me. I swear, if there wasn´t such cold out there I would take them off and walked barefoot," she huffs a little, pouting and Sam carefully takes off the left black shoe and then starts stroking the sore sole, hearing Ema´s pleased "hmmm".

Her feet are cold, and Sam warms them up in his large palms, then moving up to the ankles, rubbing circles with his thumbs there. He can easily encircle the slim ankles with his fingers and that´s when he realizes how fragile and vulnerable the girl above him is.

Ema has to feel something, because she looks down at him and smiles, putting her hands on his shoulders and bending down to kiss his forehead and it feels like a reassurance.

---

After the first snow´s fallen down and covered the roofs and trees briefly, Ema comes up with the idea of the "lovely Christmas dinner". It would probably be cool, if she invited Dean and Bobby – without Sam´s knowledge. It´s going to be his first Christmas with Ema and he isn´t sure if he wants Dean to be there, too.

All it takes to convince him one morning is a blowjob.

They have to go to work the day before Christmas and Ema puts a list into Sam´s jeans. He rolls his eyes and leaves, already late for the work.

Ema isn´t the best cook in the world but she tries. Anyway, Sam loves her meals even if they are never perfect. It´s not perfect this time, either. The turkey is too big to fit into the tiny oven and Ema isn´t even sure if she pulled out all of the guts. Sam would do it better if he was at home but he isn´t and Ema needs the raw materials for the sweet cranberries sauce.

There are no cranberries, only jam.

Do you know how much that crap coasts?

That is the main problem.

It´s called cranberry sauce. How can I make one when I have no cranberries?

She has cinnamon but no ginger – although Sam bought five kilos of sweet potatoes. So apparently, Sam isn´t the best shopper in the world. After the unpleasant fight, Ema finds green beans from her colleague in the fridge and Sam finds out that he´s more like his dad and Dean than he thought.

---

Dean and Bobby show up at the front door the next morning.

Dean wears reindeer antlers and Bobby has a Santa hat over his baseball cap. They're trying to look "normal" for Ema, Sam thinks. Ema just smiles and hugs both of them, inviting them inside. Sam can see how unsure his brother and Bobby are; the hominess of this place is strange to them. They're acting guardedly and Dean's pretty much short-tempered, even if he's obviously trying not to be. Sam catches Bobby dripping holy water into Ema's eggnog and Dean checking all the windowsills and doorsteps—it's their habit, but it just makes Sam think about how different their lives have become.

All of them enjoy the dinner in the end, Bobby telling Ema that he actually loves the green beans and Dean saying nothing at all – letting Ema refill his plate twice.

Ema doesn't like crazy Christmas comedies, so she lets the men watch the TV alone, cleaning the table and washing the dishes. She can hear them laugh in the living room and it warms her inside. She knows how much Sam cares about his brother and Bobby, even if there is a big gap between them now. She hopes that this little event will help them get back some of what they lost. She brings beers for them and sits on Sam's lap, catching Dean's wink. She hopes her face isn't too red. Sam told her about Dean´s attitude towards women so she isn´t really sure what the smirk meant.

---

It´s still snowing outside when Sam and Ema are lying in bed, Bobby snoring loudly in the guest room.

"Thank you." Sam takes her hand and squeezes.

"For what?"

"For the dinner." Sam´s tracing the little mole on her wrist. "For not asking why is Bobby on the wheelchair, what exactly happened to Dad and Mom..."

"Sam, you told me enough. I know there´s a lot of danger around us," she whispers, the fear pulling at her stomach. "Once you´re ready you can tell me anything- and I´ll listen." She looks very serious and older in that moment, hovering over him.

Sam shifts uncomortably. "Ema-"

"I love you Sam. And that´s enough." She waits until the information settles fully in Sam and then kisses him, long and sweet.

"Ok. Ok." Sam whispers between the kisses. Now, when everyone he cares for are under the same roof, for the very first time Sam feels deeply relieved and content. It´s almost too much.

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Thank you for reading! And comment please, if you have a time!


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